The term ‘takatāpui’ originally referred to a close companion of the same sex, but since the 1980s has been reclaimed as an inclusive term used by gay, lesbian, transgender, bisexual, whakawāhine, fa’afafine, asexual, queer, questioning and intersex Māori. It is a term that encompasses Māori spirituality and culture as well as sexuality.
The following acknowledges the use of this term from a whānau perspective and our journey.
Tōku Ao – My world
Ko Tainui te Waka – Tainui is the waka;
Ko Whitireia te maunga – Whitireia is the mountain
Ko Parirua te awa – Parirua is the water way;
Ko Raukawakawa te moana – Raukawakawa is the ocean
Ko Takapūwāhia te marae – Takapūwāhia is the marae
Ko Ngati Toa Rangatira te Iwi – Ngāti Toa Rangatira is the tribe.
Ko Kay tōku hoa Rangatira
Ko Parehuia rāua ko Te Manahou ōku tamāhine.
Tihei Mauri Ora
I recite my pepeha in acknowledgement of the ancestral roots that connect to the home of my ancestors. I write these reflections as the proud father of transgender and lesbian daughters. I pay my respects to my partner who as a wāhine Māori was adopted at birth and brought up away from her whānau (family), hapū (sub-tribe) , Iwi (tribe) and Ūkaipō (Place of origin).
For our whānau Te Ao takatāpui is an integral part of our journey.
Whakapapa – Descent lines
Within our whakapapa there has always been tangata Takatāpui! Rangatira from each generation, whose relationships and identity were embraced as being part of traditional Māori society. Within our immediate whānau we continue this tradition with my beautiful daughters whose names reflect their rangatiratanga as Takatāpui. Te Manahou Mackay – Her name literally means Te Mana (Power / uniqueness, distinct qualities) hou (in this context it means the new power) as she came into the world we sensed that she would be a force to reckon with in this world hence her name. My oldest daughter Parehuia Mackay was named after tupuna on both sides of her whakapapa with a name that refers to a head band of huia feathers to acknowledge her birthright as a wahine rangatira and her destiny to do great things.
Tō mātou ao Māori – Our Māori world
Reo / Tikanga / Kawa – are part of our foundation as a whānau and this has been an integral part in our journey. We hold true to our foundation and the values of aroha and manaakitanga which we extend to the takatāpui community. From the early years of kohanga reo (language nest), kura (primary school) and Rumaki (immersion settings) our daughters have been immersed in their culture. Their first language was te reo Māori and both have continued to grow their reo as they have become adults.
Werohia te ao – Challenging perceptions
We as a whānau challenge the impact of colonisation in Aotearoa since the signing of Te Tiriti o Waitangi in 1840 and the loss of the language, culture and identity but more importantly of whenua (land). We embrace the traditional acceptance of the sexuality of Māori women and men. Throughout our journey there have been challenges to face especially as Māori who embrace takatāpui as part of our identity. For some who are not part of our culture and have a closed colonised view of what they think is tika we have challenged their perceptions. Accessing health, education, social services have all been areas that have challenged us when it came to access and acknowledging the basic rights for takatāpui.
The main challenge has been to advocate for how our daughters – especially our youngest who is transgender – fit in to society. We reply by saying because their ancestors mauri and mana live within them.
We will remain staunch advocates for our daughters and the wider whānau within Te Ao Takatāpui as a place of honour, along with plenty of tautoko (support) and aroha (love) from our extended whānau, hapū and Iwi. It is society that needs to change not our whānau.
Tuakiri – Identity
As a whānau we embrace the tuakiri (identity) of our tamahine (daughters) who identify as Takatāpui.
Our tamariki were born into the world as they are meant to be. To say anything else is to buy into the whole colonised notion that you can only be one gender. Whereas we have adopted what our tupuna acknowledged and that is to look at the whole of a person’s being, their uniqueness and to bring this to the forefront and not for it to remain hidden in the shadows. As our ancestors observed and identified a possible pathway forward for a tamaiti so to have we as a whānau supported our daughters to find their pathway. Both of our daughters have carved a pathway that honours their identities.
Mana Tupuna – Mana from the ancestors
As mentioned before, Mana means power and I acknowledge the essence of the mana of takatāpui within our whānau. In my lifetime I have been blessed with opportunities to learn and grow within the space of Whaikōrero / Haka / waiata / whakapapa and I gladly take on the role and responsibility of leading and teaching in this space. I pass on as much knowledge as I can to my daughters as a rite of passage. In terms of speaking rites on the marae and the rites to karanga within our whānau we will wananga to challenge what this may look like. Acceptance being the key.
Mauri – the essence of being
Watching the essence of being come to life within our whānau has been a journey of discovery. We call on the ancient understanding of Mauri and support the pathways created by our tamahine (daughters).
Te Manahou has spent her life growing in a space where her identity is out there for all to see as one of Aotearoa and Australia’s top models. Being one of a handful of transgender models, she brings her identity for the world to see each day and she does this with Mana.
Parehuia has carved a pathway in the television industry and has been involved with multiple productions forming her own company and working in kaupapa Māori spaces. Both are role models for our whānau and are always willing to support the takatāpui community where they can.
My partner and I will always support our daughters and the takatāpui community as part of our extended whānau and in closing I say:
“Mānawatia te ao takatāpui ka tika – Celebrate gender diversity absolutely!”
Nāku noa
Tihei Mauri Ora!
Nā Hunia Mackay